PIGS

... are going to kill us all.

BEWARE OF THE SWINE !

I was thinking about The Muppets a little while ago, and now that I think about it, in every movie, Ms. Piggy always was a source of trouble.

I mean, not to bash Jim Henson or anything, but she was a bit of a swank (Swine + skank = swank)

I was talking to my friend today who says she has Swine Flu. I asked her "did you get tested"?

She hadn't realized I was talking about getting tested for H1N1 *nudge, nudge*. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ms. Piggy got asked that a lot.

...So does H1N1= Ms. Piggy Chlamydia? All arrows point to yes.

Look at that.

What a friggin swank.

Laters,

ZMar

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KANYE WEST

is a douche. I feel like his image consultant is the most underpaid woman IN THE WORLD. Seriously. I would have had him cut my last check the night of the VMAs and gotten the hell out of dodge. I mean, seriously, Kanye? I wonder if he just wakes up in the morning and is just like "I wonder how I can be an even bigger douche bag today. Hm.. let's see. I've already started the toolish trend of essentially wearing window blinds on my face... what else is there? Oh, I know! I'll interrupt America's musical sweetheart, and look like an asshole "honoring" someone else who is going to win an award 10 minutes after I pull my little stunt. Yeah. Sounds like a plan. Mm. Yeah it's gonna be a good day."

That's probably what he does. Here's to you, Kanye. Because famous bastards need love too.

Later,

ZMar

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Fail?

So there is this speed bump in the student lot at my school that was installed over the summer, and it is quite possibly the most obnoxious driving barrier I have ever encountered.

It is seriously like a little mountain, raised a good 8-12 inches from the ground. Imagine going 100mph down the Tollway and going on the hill-y parts near the Royal Ln. exit, but without the smooth feel. Your head would to a forward jerking thing and then you'd get a nice little steering wheel imprint on your face. Yeah, that's pretty much this speed bump.

Of course because NOBODY goes the 10mph speed limit in the student lot, Greenhill had this obnoxious bump installed. Every time my car (a VW Bug- a car very low set to the ground, mind you) goes over it, it's like there's a small semi-authoritative creature on my shoulder. That just pokes me in the back of my neck or something, annoyingly nagging me for going the speed I'm going. Imagine the Peanuts' adult voice (buhwhawhawha whaaa) every morning when you have to park. And it's not like I'm going recklessly fast or anything. I'm going like 20mph or so.

If the school children of America can make it through school zones alive, with cars going (ideally) 20 mph, then surely the little tykes of Greenhill School can use their eyes to look out for deranged student drivers, and their stubby legs to run like hell out of the way. Just saying.

All this driving talk reminds me of a picture I saw today. Enjoy:

Ciao,

ZMar

Ps- I tried to ignore the fact I haven't blogged in 2 months. Hope it worked.

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