The One Minute Writer 2

Prompt: Type a four-letter F word (no, not that one!) and then see where that word takes you as you write for a minute.

Food.

What does that say about me? Well, food and I have a pretty steady relationship. We're 16 years, going strong. But we really settled down for a serious relationship after my middle school growth spurts. We get together in the morning, have a quickie between 2nd and 3rd period, some personal time together around 12:45, another quickie at around 4, and then have some intimate time sometime in the evening.

Yeah, me and food are gonna go the distance. Which is fine with me. Jenny Craig is food's ex. They aren't on speaking terms. Sucks for her.

Peace out girl scout,

ZMar

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The One Minute Writer

Here's the prompt: Describe a responsibility you'd like to pass along to someone else. What responsibility of theirs would you willingly take on in return?

I would totally be a Power Ranger. I wouldn't mind having mighty morphing capabilities with my best pals and kicking major ass.

Then someone else can have the responsibility of having to go to first period class. First period just pisses me off. Every day, my teacher asks the class "are you guys awake today"? And I just mentally retort "well, Mr. PhD what do you think?".

Yeah that'd be a pretty sweet deal. I fight crime, then come back in time for 2nd period class and donuts. Schweet.

Later skater,

ZMar

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PIGS

... are going to kill us all.

BEWARE OF THE SWINE !

I was thinking about The Muppets a little while ago, and now that I think about it, in every movie, Ms. Piggy always was a source of trouble.

I mean, not to bash Jim Henson or anything, but she was a bit of a swank (Swine + skank = swank)

I was talking to my friend today who says she has Swine Flu. I asked her "did you get tested"?

She hadn't realized I was talking about getting tested for H1N1 *nudge, nudge*. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ms. Piggy got asked that a lot.

...So does H1N1= Ms. Piggy Chlamydia? All arrows point to yes.

Look at that.

What a friggin swank.

Laters,

ZMar

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KANYE WEST

is a douche. I feel like his image consultant is the most underpaid woman IN THE WORLD. Seriously. I would have had him cut my last check the night of the VMAs and gotten the hell out of dodge. I mean, seriously, Kanye? I wonder if he just wakes up in the morning and is just like "I wonder how I can be an even bigger douche bag today. Hm.. let's see. I've already started the toolish trend of essentially wearing window blinds on my face... what else is there? Oh, I know! I'll interrupt America's musical sweetheart, and look like an asshole "honoring" someone else who is going to win an award 10 minutes after I pull my little stunt. Yeah. Sounds like a plan. Mm. Yeah it's gonna be a good day."

That's probably what he does. Here's to you, Kanye. Because famous bastards need love too.

Later,

ZMar

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Fail?

So there is this speed bump in the student lot at my school that was installed over the summer, and it is quite possibly the most obnoxious driving barrier I have ever encountered.

It is seriously like a little mountain, raised a good 8-12 inches from the ground. Imagine going 100mph down the Tollway and going on the hill-y parts near the Royal Ln. exit, but without the smooth feel. Your head would to a forward jerking thing and then you'd get a nice little steering wheel imprint on your face. Yeah, that's pretty much this speed bump.

Of course because NOBODY goes the 10mph speed limit in the student lot, Greenhill had this obnoxious bump installed. Every time my car (a VW Bug- a car very low set to the ground, mind you) goes over it, it's like there's a small semi-authoritative creature on my shoulder. That just pokes me in the back of my neck or something, annoyingly nagging me for going the speed I'm going. Imagine the Peanuts' adult voice (buhwhawhawha whaaa) every morning when you have to park. And it's not like I'm going recklessly fast or anything. I'm going like 20mph or so.

If the school children of America can make it through school zones alive, with cars going (ideally) 20 mph, then surely the little tykes of Greenhill School can use their eyes to look out for deranged student drivers, and their stubby legs to run like hell out of the way. Just saying.

All this driving talk reminds me of a picture I saw today. Enjoy:

Ciao,

ZMar

Ps- I tried to ignore the fact I haven't blogged in 2 months. Hope it worked.

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Blogs can actually collect cobwebs

I'd know, since this one is covered in them. 

I'm pretty sure the number of readers for this blog has totally gone to hell. Sorry, Alex (Hoskins). I've failed you. 

Well, should someone actually read this, I guess I continue?

Actually, just for kicks, when reading the following, alternate between a british/ heavy southern accent. 

This past week, (after leaving debate camp) has been really full. I've been busy sleeping, still being exhausted, and then somehow staying up to unseemly hours of the night? Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either. 

School starts in 5 weeks. This is not okay. Summer is required to last until mid-September, at the earliest. But Greenhill keeps breaking this rule. Maybe I'll write a letter to Dick Cheney, and he'll do something about this injustice. And if that doesn't work, I'll just move in with someone even more powerful, like the guy who invented Pop Tarts. Then I'll be under the roof of someone so powerful and strawberry/brown cinnamon sugary delicious, school will just HAVE to start later. 

Maybe that's why blogging is so great. Not because it is the little narcissistic hole in cyber space that every breathing creature craves, but because the most ingenious ideas stem from it. 

Ah, yes. Justice will be served. All because of blogspot.

Blog, I will never leave you again. 

...and by "never" I mean "not immediately".

-ZMar

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Quite a few things

...have happened since my last post.

1. After Microsoft Word started failing, my MacBook crashed.
2. Apple replaced my computer.
3. As a result of #1, I lost all my debate files and still had to debate in the tournament the next day.
4. Ended the aforementioned tournament with a winning record.
5. I miss my friends A LOT.
6. The world would be off a lot better without cafeteria food.
7. My brother is home from Japan.
8. Water bottles and 1/2 a granola bar constitute as a 3 course meal in college. No, seriously.
9. It is possible to function off of 14 hours of sleep a week.
10. WARPED TOUR IS THIS SUNDAY!
11. Gary Johnson, Shadman Zaman, and Stephen Babb, are hands down, the coolest people ever.

I'm sorry for the lack of posts. But I tried to make up for it by giving out hundreds of mints (see Post #1), which I did!

Stay cool.

ZMar

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Tonight

...was NOT enjoyable.

"Microsoft Word has encountered an unexpected problem and needs to close. We apologize for the inconvenience." I have read that message over and over again as it continued to haunt my laptop screen for the last two hours. Cases are due in 7 hours. 

F my damn life

ZMar

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It's been a little while

...since my last post. 

I must apologize for my lack of posts lately. You see, I'm at debate camp right now. Today was extremely hot, but I had my trusty laptop and suitcase(s) to keep me company in the sweltering heat while I waited for my dorm. Fun stuff. 

Anyway, it's the first night, and I have homework. Of course.

I have to read an article, and then in class tomorrow, present my thoughts about it. But tomorrow, the hard stuff begins. 

Debate camp is like a group of 300+ kids with strong work ethics and an unhealthy love for proper argumentation and victory (all capable of defending their sometimes vicious means to a victorious end). So we all race to- get this- the library, to check out the best books before anyone else. And when you reach your check out limit, like a real tool, you hide that Stanford Law Encyclopedia in the Science Fiction section so that the chick down the hall with the purple glasses and 2 briefcases full of law reviews doesn't get your gold mine of evidence. 

So this is my life for the next 3 weeks. I get the feeling I'll be blogging a lot less, but will need to a lot more in order to preserve my sanity.

Ciao,

ZMar

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The One Minute Writer

So pretty much you choose a prompt and write about what it tells you. Here I go: 

Tomorrow you get the mail, and inside it, you find the best letter you can imagine. What does it say?

"Dear Zoe,

I have to say, it's been quite an adventure stalking you. I always wondered why you turned on your blinker while turning into your driveway- its not like anyone ever sees it. And it's interesting how you save your fries for last when you're eating Chick Fil A. Anyway, I have decided to write you because I have found a new vice. I will no longer sit by your window, or dig through your trash. Enclosed is a check for 4 million dollars. Please enjoy it- use it to invest in a good body guard and an even better security system; so freaks like me can't watch you change out of your golf clothes every afternoon.

All my love,

Your childhood stalker

P.S.- I had your car detailed while you were sleeping. It smells like cherry."

That's it for today

ZMar

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YOU

...get to be the mind reader today. Today I'm giving you access to the inner-workings of my 8 year old mind. I am officially publishing my diary entries. The following has original spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Nothing has been edited, added, or ommited. Maybe if I'm feeling racy I'll post my middle school diary entries later. (Probably not.) Enjoy.

Saturday May 14, 2001 

"Today my mom took me to the mall. You could almost call it a date. Before the mall bis. I had piano lessons. The woman who teaches me is Ann Herlets. As a mater fact piano is very popular but never mind that this is about my day. Witch was great because of my mom."

Wednesday June 20, 2001

"Dear Diary,

Today we went to the Science Place :) And the Imax theater I went there because it's summer I'm at DiscoveryCamp And tommow I'm going swimming. Well Diary that was today and it was part horrible and part great and thats it for today! Bye!"

*Note, there is explicit language below:

Thursday June 21, 2001

"Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of summer- for real and the longest day of the year. But any wase today was a jinkz and because of Chloe. Chloe is a horrible, terrifieing, loud, big mouth, buck willey, nasty, girl chimpanzee."

**If I remember correctly, Chloe said it was "weird that I didn't put cheese on my sandwiches". And she said that she had a diamond monopoly set. I recall asking my big brother and he said they don't exist. Then I came back to camp and told Chloe (quote) "You're a big fat liar, Chloe!". She then said something along the lines of "Yeah well Chloe sounds better than Zoe anyway!" Then it was ON. She totally deserved everything I wrote. 

That's all of 8 year old Zoe you're gonna get for today. I'm not sure you can handle much more anyway.

Ciao,

ZMar

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11:11

..was 3 minutes ago. And I looked at my clock at 11:12. I was pissed. 

Anyway, today's post is going to be short. Just a few awards will be given.

Austin Keeler- holder of the most brownie points I have ever given. Take your age, divide it by 2, add 7, then raise to the power of infinity and beyond. That's how many brownie points. 

Waitress at Friday's (inside Northpark)- "gave" A-Keeler her number. 

Waitress #2 at Friday's- also "gave" A-Keeler her number. SKETCH.

Marble Slab- maker of  tooth paste flavored icecream

Avantika- NOT stalker person who reads this blog

P.S.- I'm a mind reader. I know you're thinking "Gee, that Keeler kid is pretty cool. I could use some pick up lines too." Well, dear reader, here's one: "Oh, so your name's Megan. That rhymes with sweet ass" 

* Note: Insert any name where [Megan] is.

That's all.

ZMar

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I bet you didn't know

...that I'm a secret french rapper.

Last week, I sat down and listened to "Je Veux Te Voir" by Yelle over and over again, following along with the lyrics. Until finally, I could rap the whole song.

So this means several things:

1. You are now free to come up to me and say "Hey, rap to me about crazy french food and sex". (Because I know that it is something you've always wanted to do.)
   
2. I am perhaps a little too insistent on putting off writing my debate cases
3. Its a damn good thing my parents don't speak French. Because I'm thinking they (maybe) would have had a problem with "Je veux te voir/ Dans un film pornographique/ En action avec ta bite/ Forme patatoes ou bien frites/ Pour tout savoir/ Sur ton anatomie/ Sur ton cousin Teki/ Et vos accessoires fetiches" 

<-- You're smart, I'm sure you can figure out what those lyrics mean. Or use handy dandy google. You know, the source of all your term papers.

*Today's post was numbered because my dear friend Alison is a fan of such a format.

Sorry today wasn't the funniest of posts. There's always tomorrow.

ZMar

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Chocolate

...is what I'm eating right now. 

"Buncha Crunch" to be exact. I went to Blockbuster today to buy it, only to find that: 

A) there was apparently a 3 for $3 deal going on. (Hooray for my wallet)

B) apparently 7 people I know live off of Genstar. Which, isn't really a big deal, except for when you realize that the Blockbuster (on Genstar) that you habitually go to in pajamas, is the same movie rental store that 7 other people you know + their families go to. Nice.

C) The lady that usually suggests the best scary movies to me is pregnant. Which is cool. I guess. But I always feel awkward when I see pregnant people because I don't know if they're actually pregnant or um... larger than uh.. most women. Because I have definitely made the unfortunate mistake of saying "Congratulations, when are you due?" only moments later to receive a rather livid expression and tight lipped "I'm not pregnant". Don't we all just live for these little love packages strangers give us everyday? I know I do.

So I think that's it.

Well except for the road trip + Andrea Bocelli concert. The drive was long, but Kelly, Mariya, and I were well equipped. We spent the night in dorms at UT and then headed home the next day. And sped all the way to Sprinkles to get some celebratory over-priced cupcakes and they were closed....

Saturday night Mariya and I went to see Andrea Bocelli, and it was a performance beyond words.... I nearly cried when he sang Con Te Partiro. In case you don't know, he's blind. And I just could not understand why such a beautiful person with such uncontested talent wouldn't be allowed to see. Would there be some kind of inbalance in the universe if he were allowed to see the world around him? To be able to see the faces of the millions of people that adore him? Sorry. Now it seems as though this post is getting a bit intense. And long. So I'm gonna go.

Ciao,

ZMar

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I love

...good music. And makers of good music. 

I am currently listening to some incredible sounds and I feel like all the artists are connected to my brain. It's as if they know all my selfish desires and crazy weird thoughts and sometimes mopey attitudes and often adrenaline pumping moments, exactly as I have them.

So, here's to you, artists of my itunes library and of the numerous untitled cd's in my car.

I owe my zen moments to you, artists. And I devote all of my love to you. (Especially Gabe, William, & Tyson.)

So artists, pat yourselves on the back, take a mother frickin bow, you are wonderful.

LYRICS WORTHY OF PRAISE..OR LAUGHTER (either is fine):

(Guess the artist(s) or song(s), and you get extra brownie points)

• "When I come in, you start to sue/ Don't worry, don't worry/ I got it. /I'm so full of me there's hardly room for you to breathe"
• "Just as soon as I see you,/ Didn't I, didn't I tell you,/ As deep as I need you/ You want to leave it all"
• "Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena/ Heeeey Macarena/ Ehhh Macarena"
• "All along the eastern shore/ Put your circuits in the sea/ This is what the world is for/ Making electricity"
• "We're one mistake from being together/ But let's not ask why it's not right/ You won't be seventeen forever/ And we can get away with this tonight"

In fact, here's a link (... you know I spoil you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpFTgsOVazE

That's all for now,

ZMar

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SO

...I just had a volcanic eruption of excitement.

For several reasons: (It’s a numbered list. Fancy, I know)

1.   I am road tripping with Kelly (my inspiration) and Mariya (my stalker) tomorrow to Austin! It will be the best thing of our young lives.

2.   I got my baby back yesterday. And by “baby” I mean car. And by “car” I mean love child that CPS took away from me so many months ago. And by “child” I mean my 2006 VW Bug. (Sorry for any confusion that may have caused)

3.   I’ve decided to start knitting again. Because I started knitting my sister’s newborn son a cap, and never finished. He’s 6 now. So I’m gonna strap down, focus, and finish that cap… that will no longer fit.

4.   TACT starts again in 5 days and that is possibly the greatest thing in the world. It truly is absurd how obsessive we (TACTors 08-09) are about this TeenAge Communication Theatre. Plus, we get our new shirts which means I don’t have to wear a parachute anymore! YES!

5.   I’m going to Central Market today to raid the candy section. As I do every week. Any one want to join me? I love having these mini adventures with a buddy. If not, that’s cool. More diabetes for me.

6.   Mom bought more Kraft Singles. LIFE IS GOLDEN.

So, I think I’m going to go do something else now. 

PS- I’m excited about my fancy new blog. Hopefully somebody out there will read it.

PPS- Hopefully that somebody isn’t a creeper.

 

TTFN: Ta ta for now!

ZMar

 

PPPS- I love Tigger. (in reference to above TTFN)

 

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Dear blog patrol,

...is it against the rules to blog more than once per day?

I sincerely hope it isn't, because I'm too excited about the hype this blog is getting to become a blogcrastinator (thank you, Alex Randolph).

So I was driving home today and decided to stop at Braum's. While there, I discovered a small malt is only $2. No tax or anything. I wanted to jump for joy. I wanted to call my sister in South Africa. I wanted to marry the person on the other side of the drive through intercom. I was so excited, I ordered fifteen vanilla malts. So now I'm at home with 15 malts and nobody to give them to. And I'm pretty sure my dog can't drink that much vanilla. So. 

Blog patrol, is it against the rules to lie in a blog? Because I just did. I only ordered one malt. And it's in my freezer now because I couldn't finish it. I hope that's okay.

Well, I'd better go now. Before you arrest me.

ZMar

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Hello world

...of blog readers.

So I seriously have no idea what to write in this thing. And I feel like Kelly and Alex will probably laugh because they're such blogsperts. Well, you win some you lose some I guess. Actually, that phrase did not really fit well there. Fantastic. I've been blogging for what, 35 seconds and already I don't make sense.

At least I have one fan. Mariya Abdulkaf, 17 year old student and official blog reader/ serial pelvic thruster is excited about my new blog. I can't think of anything particularly bloggable at the moment. So far its just been rambling.

Well, here's something I guess: So, for my 16th birthday we had these mints/candies produced with my initials on them. And the company that produces them has a 10 month "deliciousness guarantee" (??). Okay well anyway, like 3 months after my party, my mom ate one. (We had like 100's left over after the party) Well, apparently it was not delicious. And for those of you who know my mother, she very much believes that the customer is always right. And will not hesitate to point that out to companies, restaurants, stores, etc....

Anyway, I get up one day, and there is a box of 10,000 mints at my door. 

The mint company produced an entire new batch and mailed them to me. So if you want mints just like, show up at my house. And I will happily satiate your aforementioned desire.

heh heh.. that's what she said. 

That's all for now.

ZMar

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